// I miss him.//

I wish there were a way to tell him that. I mean, really tell him.

Whenever anyone asks if I’ve ever been in love, the memories from when I was with him come flooding back.

I hate the way life happens sometimes. I hate how I can’t be with him.  I hate it.

I hate the way that I feel whenever we get off the phone - dreamy, blissful, and happier than I could ever be without him.

I hate the fact that I cling to that rock I picked up the last time we saw each other, and that every time I go back into that hallway I remember the way he kissed the top of my head, and my heart collapses.

I hate the idea that I don’t quite remember how he smells anymore.

I hate the thought that the next time we see each other will be almost two years since the last time we’ve seen each other.

I hate the fact that I’m counting down the days, while I’m sure he isn’t even thinking about it.

I hate the fact that every time anyone hugs me, I compare them to his.  No one has ever won, and I don’t think anyone ever will.

I hate the fact that it doesn’t even make sense. Not any of it.  It doesn’t make any sense at all that I would love him so much… But I do.

I really hate the question that lingers in the back of my mind… When we do meet again, will it be the same? Will we still have that connection we always did? Will it be as amazing as I’ve been imagining it to be for more than a year?